Heaven
by jstarrh
Summary: Bella jumps but doesn't survive and Edward soon follows, what happens next.


The clearest thing I remember was the absolute freedom of it, the wind flowing through my hair, my mind free from any of the h

_Would you know my name  
If I saw you in heaven  
Will it be the same  
If I saw you in heaven_

_Tears In Heaven_

_Eric Clapton_

BPOV

The clearest thing I remember was the absolute freedom of it, the wind flowing through my hair, my mind free from any of the horrible pain that had been occupying it for far too long. I just wanted to forget everything, to focus on hearing him, hearing his velvet voice speaking to me, as if he actually still cared. Suddenly I was in the water, the freezing liquid surrounding me like the ice cold arms I would never feel again and I savored it, the chill that I had longed for at night. Then there it was, in crystal clarity, the voice I had yearned for begging me to fight, to move. But I couldn't do it anymore, couldn't pretend that I could exist with reminders of him everywhere. Every tree reminded me that he didn't love me, every cold day reminded me of the feeling of his skin and every sunny day brought to mind the glittering perfection that was him. There was no escape and it both haunted me and comforted me at the same time. I couldn't live in a world where he no longer wanted me, promises be damned. I had always hung on to the hope that somehow, someway we could make this work, that we would be together forever and that dream had been shattered. Wading in the water I looked around, the utter blackness of the water intrigued me, it looked like his eyes the first time we had met, black with desire for me. Desire that he had somehow managed to overcome, I wish he had shared that secret with me before he left, because how do you get over your reason for living.

The water was getting heavier, pulling me down and I was too tired to care, too tired to listen to the voice pleading with me. _Fight Bella, fight Bella, don't give up._ I wanted to scream back, why should I fight? I was wiling to give up my life to be with you and you threw me aside, why should I fight for you now? Why should I give you what you want when you didn't take my feelings into consideration when you made the decision of what was best for us? There was no more us and with that I closed my eyes and let the darkness overtake me.

EPOV

I closed my phone and fell to my knees reeling from the information I had just received. It was the call I had dreaded since I had devised my plan. I figured she would learn to live without me, not wallow in despair like I had since I had left her side. She was human, so easily distracted and memories so easily forgotten. I was the one who could not get her out of my mind, I could see her, hear her, feel her; she was all I would ever want but could never have. With every breath I took I yearned for her and I knew I did the right thing, despite my families protests, despite my bodies protest I couldn't take away her chance at normalcy, it wasn't right. I had spent every second, of every hour, of every day thinking of her, willing myself to stay away, to do what was right; I loved her enough to set her free. Instead the depths of my selfishness knew no bounds, instead of freedom to live she had followed the path that I could never hope to follow for without a soul I could never hope to see my angel again. As I told her before though I could not conceive of a world where she did not exist, I could not be a part of such agony. My decision made I headed to the airport to the end of my suffering.

Upon arrival I went straight to see them, the Volturi, ready to die. They tried to deny me, they saw my talent as too valuable to waste but I left them no other choice, I did what I had to do in order to meet my end. As I stood there being ripped apart piece by piece I did not scream out, I did not utter a sound because I knew that this pain amplified by a thousand would not touch the pain in my immobile heart at what I had put her through. So I took it knowing that there was not torture they could inflict that would pay for the depth of my sins. I held onto my crystal clear memories of her as the world went black and utterly silent.

BPOV

The impact of what had happened hit me as I could watch the last events of my life unfold before me. Jacob came too late to save me; his howl of utter hopelessness pierced my soul when he made the connection of what had happened when he found my car at the top of the cliffs. My body never was recovered yet I could easily point out where I rested at the bottom of the ocean. My heart broke as I watched the pain I had inadvertently caused because death was not my goal that day, I had just wanted, needed to hear his voice. Charlie, Renee, Jacob, could not be comforted and it broke my heart to see them hurting. I could take no more and closed my eyes to the pain of it all, willing myself to go anywhere but here.

Upon opening my eyes again I was in our meadow, but it was more bright, clear and beautiful than it had ever been to me before. I sat down and cried, cried for the pain I had caused and the pain that even in death I had been unable to escape. For all eternity I would be condemned to feel this all consuming pain but it was only fair considering the pain I had left behind. I sat there for an indeterminable amount of time, days and nights held no meaning to me anymore and suddenly I sympathized with the Cullen's and their inability to sleep, to escape for even a short amount of time. There was never an escape from the thoughts in my head and I questioned where I had ended up.

Suddenly I heard a rustling behind me and I felt scared, which was absurd because nothing could harm me anymore. Yet when I looked at what was approaching I shook I couldn't help but be afraid and I closed my eyes to the pain that was imminent. I felt a presence close to me and couldn't bring myself to acknowledge it as tears slipped out of my eyes. Warm fingers reached up to my face brushing them away and my eyes snapped open at the warmth radiating from those fingers. His eyes were closed so I studied him, his creamy complexion a hint of red on his cheeks. I couldn't stop myself from touching the copper colored hair that I knew so well and had dreamed about touching again. My fingers trembled as they took in every inch of his face and a single tear fell from his eye and onto my hand.

"Edward," I whispered softly, questioning, not able to control my voice from shaking.

"Bella, I'm so sorry Bella," the tears now rolled freely down his face as he wrapped his arms around me, holding me with all his force as he had never been free to do before. His arms were so soft and warm; it was hard to believe that it was actually him. He pulled away from me and I instantly felt the loss of his touch. His eyes were no longer the topaz I had grown to love but a vivid emerald green and I realized that this was the Edward I had never known, the human Edward who had died long before I was even born. They were the eyes of a stranger but they were filled with love and sorrow and a pain I couldn't bare to look at.

I put my fingers to his lips, not wanting to hear any more apologies, understanding the depth of his love. So obvious with the actions he took to get to where he was right now, to be with me in our version of forever. Replacing my fingers with my lips I kissed him, truly kissed him for the first time, no holding back and even with the pain and sorrow we had both placed on our families it was right, there were no regrets. We had found each again and we would stay here; side by side for all eternity.


End file.
